I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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