I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
