Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize