I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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