She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
