Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize