on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
