I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
