Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Semen is not good for contacts.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
