My first STD was from a foam party
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
