party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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