we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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