i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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