i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
