just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
