So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
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