I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
