It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize