you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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