you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
