found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize