Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Randomize
