Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
