My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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