So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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