this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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