Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
