Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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