The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
