hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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