Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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