didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Randomize
