Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Randomize
