he wants to bone in the snuggie
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
