I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
