We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
