Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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