So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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