This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Did we literally take a cab across the street
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Randomize
