I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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