worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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