Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It's never too late to be topless.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize