just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Two words: nipple clamps
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