But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I want to have your abortion
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
