But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
