You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize