yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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