he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
