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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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