quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
