Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
