YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
