dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize