i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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