last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
they need to just BURY HIM!
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
