So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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