Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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