she looked like the before picture.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Randomize