he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
