You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
