just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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