You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
You took a bar mat shot.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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