Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
