Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
