My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Randomize
