i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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