i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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