Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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