No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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