Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
