ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
