Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
