he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
