Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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