Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
